Relationship and Couple counselling
in Marlow, Buckinghamshire
The need for companionship is one of our basic needs as human beings. It comes along with the need for food and shelter. We want to give and we want to receive. We want to share our joys and sorrows, to laugh together, to do things together, to be held, caressed and cared for. Why is then our relationships so often go wrong and instead of deriving fulfilment from being with another person we find ourselves miserable and alone?
There is no simple answer to this question. As Leo Tolstoy said in his famous novel Anna Karenina, “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” There are an infinite number of factors that play role in the relationship chemistry. To understand what is backfiring and short-circuiting it is necessary to explore each case individually.
As human beings we are made of contradictions. Opposing forces operate within us pulling us in different directions. One such force is the desire to affirm and realize our individuality and our independence. Another is the desire to achieve the sense of wholeness by merging and becoming one with another being.
These opposing desires cannot be fully reconciled. Yet it is possible to find a greater balance between them by gaining insight into how these forces play out within us and within our relationship. Our attitudes, beliefs, fears and defence mechanisms impact our relationship as they inform the way we interact with another person. When we become aware of what drives us and what hurts us, what excites us and what makes us withdraw and shut down we gain an ability to engage with ourselves and with our partner in ways that are more aligned with our needs, gifts and desires.
Children are usually also affected by the stress their parents are experiencing, so relationship counselling and couple counselling is not only about two persons but concerns the wellbeing of the whole family.
If you are looking to improve your current relationship or create a new one then you may benefit from the relationship or/and couple counselling. You are welcome to contact me to ask any questions and to come for an exploratory session to find out whether relationship counselling would be a right thing for you.
