Educational element constitutes a very important part of my therapeutic practice. In addition to facilitating the release of past traumas and acquiring new more efficient coping strategies I coach people in developing a greater understanding of different aspects of their being so that they are better able to maintain psychological as well physical equilibrium.
One concept that I found particularly useful in this work is the idea of energy management. Think of our body (and here I am using the word ‘body’ holistically, encompassing both physical and emotional aspects) as a certain ecosystem with a limited amount of natural resources. Just as it happens with bigger ecosystems (such as our planet), when certain vital resources become exhausted we begin to experience strain or distress in different areas of our life.
Energy well
To better illustrate this idea I use the model of a well. Imagine people living in an environment where they rely on a well for all their water needs, including drinking, washing, cooking, etc. The well is being fed by a steady constant trickle of underground waters but it cannot be replenished quickly on demand. So if there happens to be a leak on a side of a well or too much water has been drawn at once or there occurs a drought the well goes dry and everybody suffers as there is no water even for the very basic needs.
Now I would invite you to think of a similar ‘energy well’ within your body’s ecosystem. The energy from this well is used for every single task, physical, mental or emotional, that you perform during the day. Getting up in the morning takes a certain amount of energy. Sending your children off to school takes energy. Washing up takes energy. Having an argument with your partner takes energy, and so on. Some things draw out more energy than others. Here are some examples of the things that draw larger quantities of energy and can put a significant strain on our resources:
- Decision making (all decisions but especially important decisions)
- Worrying
- Engaging in conflicts
- Self-doubt
- Guilt
- Grieving
- Suppressing emotions
- Maintaining a ‘persona’ that disguises your actual state of mind (e.g. presenting yourself as cheerful and upbeat to your friends or colleagues when you are feeling down)
The items mentioned on this list drain huge amounts of energy yet we often do not recognise them as the high energy consumption activities. In fact, we may be altogether unaware of just how much energy we expend on suppressing, for example, our anger or disappointments. And thus, with energy leaks going undetected, we are left depleted and unable to function properly and enjoy our lives.
Extinction rebellion of our body
When our body’s energy supplies are depleted it begins to malfunction and we may experience some of the following symptoms:
- Feeling fatigued;
- Losing interest in things that used to be fun;
- Losing motivation;
- Feeling irritable and impatient;
- Struggling with anxiety;
- Feeling on edge;
- Feeling down or depressed.
Very commonly when people first come to therapy they tend to focus on a symptom. They believe that it is the symptom that needs to be addressed and ‘fixed’ to relieve them of their discomfort. However, it rarely works this way. Symptoms don’t exist in isolation. They need to be viewed and treated in context. We need to see a bigger picture to understand how to alleviate a symptom and prevent it from recurring.
Symptoms listed above are often our body’s cry for help. A desperate attempt to signal us that our resources are dangerously depleted. I call it the extinction rebellion of our body. Yet, sadly, very often instead of heeding those signals we keep pushing ourselves even harder, beating ourselves up for not coping, running on empty until we crash.
Responsible resource management
It is usually following the crash or when nearing the crash point that people seek help from a therapist. As I help people towards recovery I also instruct them to become experts on their own body so that they can manage the resources of their ecosystem in a sustainable and balanced way. This work involves
- Identifying and repairing the sources of energy drain caused by past traumas;
- Identifying the sources of energy replenishment (e.g. sleep, walking in nature, spending time with close friends and other relaxing and nurturing activities);
- Cultivating awareness of their body’s energy levels;
- Learning more effective approaches to sustainable energy management (e.g. introducing meditation sittings into your daily routine; learning self-compassion and positive self-talk; learning to ask for help; releasing suppressed emotions, etc.).
I find that the well of water – living water! – is a beautiful and vivid metaphor for visualising our inner energetic resources and their distribution. It helps us start relating to ourselves in a more compassionate and supportive way. Just as we care about nature and natural resources of our planet, we can begin to better appreciate our own bodies’ ecosystems treating them with gratitude, care and respect.
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